Christopher's Miracle Story: I hope this lifeboat doesn't have a hole in it!

Friday, August 16, 2013

I hope this lifeboat doesn't have a hole in it!

With Christopher sleeping peacefully in his intensive care crib, the crisis was finally over. Well, maybe it would be more accurate to say that it was in more of a "holding pattern." The surgery was over, but Christopher was still in critical (but stable) condition. It felt like we were in some kind of lifeboat just waiting to be rescued. It seemed like we were pretty safe inside the boat, but it was easy to see that outside the boat we were surrounded by some very stormy seas.

I sat for a long time and just watched him sleep. My eyes followed his chest as it moved up and down with every breath that he took. I listened to all the machines that Christopher was hooked up to. It sounded like some kind of very odd orchestra. There was a bizarre yet comforting harmony to it knowing that each machine was doing an important job of monitoring his vital signs or delivering life saving medication and fluids. Christopher didn't seem to notice anything at all. He was just snoozing blissfully in dreamland.

I noticed a small cot in the room. It wasn't something that you might find in a 4 star hotel, but it allowed you to be horizontal. Maybe I could join Christopher in dreamland for awhile. I was so tired, and I suddenly became aware of the fact that my body felt heavy. It was early morning, probably 6:30 or 7:00 am. I couldn't even remember the last time I had closed my eyes, so I stretched out on the cot. I felt my body release the tension that I had been holding in all those long hours, and I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

Unfortunately, I never made it to dreamland because I was awakened with a horrible pain in my stomach. I raced to the bathroom. All the stress had taken a toll on my body, and now my body was rebelling against me. I felt dizzy and nauseous, and then the mutiny continued as I realized that my head was pounding so hard that it felt like it might pop. I was drop dead tired. It hurt just trying to keep my eyelids open.

Christopher and Grandma Robin

I made my way back to Christopher's room, stretched out again on the cot, and fell instantly back to sleep. This time I slept hard. I know the nurses were in and out constantly working on Christopher, but I never heard them. I was too overwhelmed with exhaustion. I think my body had just had enough, and it just shut down. Game over!

I woke up a few hours later to the sound of the phone ringing. It was Mike's mom, Robin. She asked me in one of those "I want to know, but I'm afraid to ask" voices if Christopher was still alive. I could hear her release a sigh of relief through the phone when I told her that he was alive and explained to her all that had happened. We hung up, and I tried to get some more rest.

Christopher and I continued to enjoy the luxury of sleep until my husband arrived. He was finally back from his business trip. I knew it had been very hard for him to have been gone while all this was going on. He looked tired, but he was clearly relieved to finally be home. I watched his eyes fill with tears and love as he looked down at Christopher, kissed him, and held his little hand.