Butterflies in my tummy

In life we set goals and make plans for our lives, but I am telling you I NEVER thought that Christopher having a Nissan Fundoplication would be a part of any plan I had ever had for him.  Not to mention the fact, that I would actually be anxious for him to have this surgery, but I was anxious for him to get it done.  I just wanted them to fix him.  I just wanted a normal life for him.  Normal was the plan I had for him.

I thought that this surgery was the answer.  It was our way out of the unexpected valley.  As we waited for him in the surgical waiting room, I could just imagine us all on "top of the hill" celebrating Christopher's recovery.  Of course we would all be eating (including Christopher) and no one would need a beach towel burp rag.  In my mind this operation was going to provide a way out of that awful, dark valley and up to the tippy-top of the hill where everybody eats normally. 

Of course, I was concerned about Christopher actually having to have the operation because of all the risks and complications that might happen, but I was more concerned about him NOT having it.  Without it, he would likely starve to death before our eyes, so I saw the surgery as a positive thing.  It was going to save his life.

The mood in the surgical waiting area was different this time.  Tears were replaced with a nervous but hopeful anticipation.   The same old questions were there too.  How was Christopher doing?  Was everything going okay?  How long has it been since he went in?  When will someone be coming to update us?  Didn't they say that someone would update us?  How long has it been again???  It seemed there was no shortage of questions and time.

We decided to fill it with hopeful conversation, reading, coffee, food, and checking our watches every few minutes or so.  It is amazing how time can tick by so slowly when you are restlessly waiting, waiting, waiting.  The first time Christopher had surgery it felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach.  This time it felt like I had butterflies in my stomach.  They were flying around so fast inside my tummy I thought they might actually pick me up off my feet.  Where did I leave my net?

I just wanted all of this to be over.  I just wanted all of us to go with Christopher and hang out at the top of that hill and eat cake, or pie, or pizza, or something- anything! 

I began to think that my watch was broken.  How long did they say it would take?  How long has it been?  Maybe all our watches are broken.  After this is over and we get to go home, we won't have to measure time in medical tests and surgeries.  I can't wait to get back to normal.  I can't wait until they fix Christopher, and we get to go home.  I want my family back.  I want normal back.  That's my plan!


 If you have never accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you can pray like this:

 

More tomorrow...