IV poles don't belong in a baby nursery!

Christopher's favorite early childhood friends.

Considerable time is often spent on creating a new room for baby.  It's an exciting project that expectant moms do to prepare for the birth of their new baby girl or boy.  A baby's room is supposed to have all the usuals: crib, diaper changing table, dressers, rocking chair, etc.  Should it be blue, pink, or maybe a more neutral color like yellow or green?  What about the theme?  Rainbows and white fluffy sheep are popular.  Maybe ducks, bunnies, angels, or a character like Mickey Mouse might be more fitting.  It's all about the "cute" factor.  New moms want their baby's nursery to be warm and inviting.  It is supposed to be a place that will nurture and soothe their child.

I love honey!

As I was preparing Christopher's nursery, my mind mulled over all these things too.  Since Christopher was my third child, I still had a lot of stuff left over from the older two boys, but I wanted him to have some new things that were just his.  As son number three I knew he was going to get a lot of "hand me downs" in life.  I wanted him to start life with some things that were uniquely his own.  We bought a new crib for him, painted his room a light blue color, and went with a Winnie the Pooh theme.  Pooh, Piglet, Tigger, and Eeyore looked adorable dancing across the walls of his room. There were stuffed animals and themed linens decorating his crib.  It seemed like the perfect place for Christopher.

Piglet has always been my favorite.

Arriving home from the emergency room (after our short visit to the mall), I promptly went up to Christopher's room to put him down for a nap.  He was exhausted and had already fallen asleep in the car.  Upon opening the door to his room, the happy cast of Winnie the Pooh characters seemed to almost welcome us home.  I thought to myself as I glanced about the nursery that the room was perfect for him.  The soft blue walls and cheerful characters provided a secure and healing environment unlike his hospital room which was cold and clinical.  There were no needles or painful procedures here.  This room was a safe place.  It was a place for him to heal.

No tubes for Christopher Robin

My mood instantly changed when my eyes met with the thing that didn't belong in any nursery.  I reached out my hand and grabbed the cold metal of the IV pole. I moved it closer to Christopher's crib, so that I could hook him up to start his feeding tube.  I was angry.  It didn't belong.  It shouldn't be there.  It didn't go with the theme of the room.  There were no IV poles in Winnie the Pooh.  Christopher Robin NEVER needed one.  Why???  Why???  Why did my Christopher need one?  It's not fair!  It's wrong! 


Fair or not, the IV pole was reality.  It didn't matter whether I liked it or not it needed to be there.  Being angry about it wouldn't change anything.  I was grieving.  Most people think of grief only in relation to death, but grief is about loss too, all different kinds of loss.  I was grieving the loss of his ability to eat and enjoy food.  I just couldn't imagine that he was going to have to live his whole life never being able to go out to lunch with friends, have coffee with a co-worker, or enjoy a backyard BBQ.  How could that be?  Why was it happening? 

This didn't belong!

Every time I came in his room and saw that IV pole, I felt like it was a slap in the face.  It represented cold, hard reality.  It represented pain and loss.  Some days that IV pole made me so mad that I wanted to throw it out the window, but my more rational side would remind me that he needed it.  Somehow I needed to learn to look at it differently because I could see that it wasn't going away anytime soon...but how do I do that?  How do I ever get used to this situation?  How is he ever going to get used to it?

In time, a lot of time, my attitude began to change.  God worked on my heart.  He showed me that what I thought was just a cold metal "intruder" in my baby's nursery was really a life line.  It was a miracle disguised in metal because if it wasn't for that IV pole, Christopher wouldn't be alive.  So...I came to the conclusion that maybe Piglet and Tigger weren't the only friends that lived with Winnie the Pooh in the 100 acre woods.  In some strange way that IV pole had become a friend too.

Tigger is always happy.

 I decided to embrace it.  I tried to make it seem less ominous by decorating it.  Over the years we have put Christmas decorations and lights on it.  We have hung some of his favorite stuffed animals, art work, and balloons on it.  One year he made a paper chain and wrapped it around his IV pole.  In short, we just tried to make it a part of the room, just another piece of furniture.  They say that "necessity is the mother of invention."  In this case we needed a way to make his IV pole seem more friendly, so we invented all kinds of ways to get the job done.  In the process my attitude changed from anger to acceptance and even gratitude.  I was grateful that God had provided a miracle for Christopher to live. 

More tomorrow...

Christopher grew up loving Winnie the Pooh so much that he wanted the character on everything!  He had Winnie the Pooh clothing, shoes, and even a suitcase.



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