I was always anxious to go home from the hospital, but I have to admit going home had its stresses too. I always felt like I was playing "catch up" with everything...the kids, the house, the bills, and the endless paperwork/phone errands. It was just one thing after another, and I felt like I wasn't doing justice to any of it. It was like trying to juggle with one hand tied behind my back. Somebody please untie my arm!
After a few days at home the anxiety would subside, and we would settle into a routine. Ahhh! The simplicity and beauty of "the routine." It was predictable and stable. It gave me a sense of control. Some people may think routine equates with boring and monotonous, but I welcomed it. Bring it on! Give me steady and safe over unexpected and unforeseen any day.
|Chocolate is good, but...|
|vanilla is the best!!!|
After the presents were unwrapped, the games were played, and the cake was eaten Christopher and I loaded into the car for the long drive home. I made it about half way home when I started to get that "feeling." You know the one. It's the one where you feel achy, heavy, and nauseous. You suddenly know you are getting sick, and just a little panic starts to set in. You are thinking...no!!! I don't have time for this. I can't be sick. I have too much to do. Your default setting is to will it away, pretend it's not happening. Maybe if I just say I'm not going to get sick, then I won't get sick.
|I can't be sick!|
Next question...was it something I ate, or do I have the flu? Please, don't let it be the flu. If it's something I ate, Christopher won't get it too. If it's the flu...well, Christopher could be in some trouble. His digestive tract and his immune system are already compromised. It flashes through my mind that the common flu could be deadly for him. As beads of sweat alternate with the chills, I try to convince myself that it must have been the cake.
|Yep, I'm sick!|
By the next morning I am still sick, and so is Christopher! Now I am feeling nauseous and guilty. I can't believe I infected my son. There goes my chances for that "Mother of the Year Award." Now what do we do? We have never crossed this bridge before. Christopher always gets the weird, rare stuff. The flu is just too normal, but in him the flu doesn't even look normal. He is REALLY SICK!
|Paging...Dr. Mike to Christopher's room, stat!|
By Monday I was feeling back to my old self and just in time too. Mike had to get back to the business of running a new company, and I had to get back to the business of caring for Christopher at the hospital. Ahhh!!! It feels good to be back to the old, predictable routine!
If you have never accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you can pray like this: