Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for you are my praise.
*** Oops! I forgot to share one other thing that happened when Christopher was in the hospital that first time. While he was there, we found out that the Potassium levels in his blood were abnormally high. What does that mean? Apparently, it meant that he was born with immature kidneys. Can they do anything to help them "mature"? Yes, they gave him Sodium through his IV and made an appointment for him with a Nephrologist (kidney doctor). We were told not to worry. Things would improve with time.
Time seemed so crazy during those early days. Days and nights were so mixed up since it was impossible to get Christopher on a regular schedule. Everything was turned upside down. His eating, his sleeping, his "diaper issues" were all completely abnormal. He cried all the time, and there wasn't one corner of our house that his projectile vomiting hadn't reached. He was worn out. We were all worn out. Home was supposed to be our comfort zone, but at this point it was difficult to find any comfort at all.
I kept calling the doctors for help. I insisted they examine him, but I kept getting the "party line", he has the flu. They gave me advice on "how to feed a fussy baby", and sent me home. I think at this point they were completely frustrated with my constant phone calls, so they just dismissed me. Now the doubts really started to ramp up in my mind. Maybe he is just a fussy baby. Maybe I'm doing something wrong. Maybe I'm just making too much out of all of this. Maybe this is just a bad dream.
I wanted to give up, quit calling the doctor everyday, and just accept that Christopher's "normal" was just different than everybody else on the planet. The problem with that was that he wasn't growing and gaining weight normally. I knew this couldn't go on.
I believe that God gives moms a special kind of "radar" and determination. when it comes to our children. He wouldn't let me give up. I know He kept guiding me in the direction He wanted me to go, so I went. I didn't give up.
I reminded myself that nobody knows Christopher as well as I do. When it comes to my son, I am the expert. I have to listen to that quiet voice in my heart and keep up my endless appeals to the doctors for help.
I pick up the phone and call the doctor again. The receptionist recognizes my voice immediately, and asks me how Christopher is doing today. It is such a simple question, but I can't tell you how much I appreciate her sincerity and her kindness. It gives me hope that I will find someone who will be able to figure all this out.
If you have never accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you can pray like this: