Wait and see

This is Christopher at home with his serious face on.  If you look closely, you can see that he is wearing his feeing tube backpack.  You can see the black straps around his shoulders.

Patience has never been my strong suit, so when the doctor said that all that was left to do was "wait and see," I was frustrated.  It wasn't the answer I wanted.  I wanted Christopher fixed, and I wanted him fixed NOW!  I wanted the surgeon to say that things weren't so bad, and that Christopher would be on the mend in no time at all.

The truth was messy, just about as messy as it could get.  The word intestines conjures up a jumbled mess in my mind anyway, but Christopher's intestines were a special sort of chaos.  I couldn't get that picture out of my mind...my baby's intestines poured out on an operating table while a surgeon sliced them apart!  Then there were the words that kept playing over and over again in my mind...we hope they went back in right.  None of this sounded very reassuring to me.  Wait and see...wait and see...I don't want to wait and see!  I want answers.  I want clarity.  I want to get this awful picture out of my mind!!!

LeAnne and Mike

The reality of the situation was brutal, but there was nothing anyone could do to change it.  Since everything that could be done had been done, I would just have to learn to be patient.  I really didn't have any other choice as time seemed to move at an incredibly slow and cruel pace.

Christopher seemed relatively comfortable because of the epidural (an amazing invention) that was managing his pain level.  He spent most of his day sleeping. When he was awake I tried to reassure him and keep him busy by reading to him, blowing bubbles into the air for him to watch, and giving him little toys to play with.  His sweet face looked serious most of the time, but every once in awhile a bubble floating near him would cause him to smile.  He wouldn't be awake for long before he would cuddle with his favorite white blanket with the balloons on it and return to dreamland.  I'm sure he preferred the happy, carefree world of dreamland over the harsh reality of being awake in the real world.  If I were him, I know I would.

The nurses and doctors were keeping a close eye on him.  They were on alert for any sign of trouble.  The residents made their rounds a little more often to check on him, and the surgeon came to examine Christopher more often than normal.  On one of his visits I asked him a question that I had been thinking about while I was watching Christopher sleep.  Even if all goes well this time, is it possible that Christopher could develop more scar tissue in response to this surgery?  Will this be an ongoing problem?  The answer was as I suspected, yes.  The surgeon explained that some people are prone to scar tissue.  It is just the way they are wired, but there is no way to predict it for sure.  We will just have to...you guessed it...wait and see.

Ga Ga (my Mom) and Christopher

While I was waiting...I read a lots of magazines/books, reorganized the hospital room till it was neat and tidy, and sampled some of the hospital cafeteria fare.  I love food, and if we're planning to go out to dinner at a local eatery the idea of going to the nearest hospital to eat would never even cross our radar screen.  Nonetheless, when you're in the hospital they have the advantage, and everybody knows the reputation hospitals have regarding their food.  Anyway, let's face it you're a captive audience.   I have to say that the food at our particular hospital wasn't horrible.  It wasn't great, but it wasn't horrible.  In retrospect...at least I COULD eat it.  Christopher would never even know if  the food was good or bad.  He couldn't eat it at all.  I often felt bad eating in front of him.

LeAnne and Mom (Ga Ga)

I was fine with the food during the day.  I've never been a big breakfast and lunch eater, but dinner...now that's a whole different story.  It's my favorite meal.  I just love dinner foods.  Anyway, my Mom was at the hospital every night, and I think she got a little tired of the "nightly special" (that really wasn't so special) at the hospital cafeteria.  She took it upon herself to be the nightly dinner caterer.


It's sad to say, but often the highlight of my day was "what's Mom bringing for dinner?"  It was something else to think about besides the absolute agony and despair that was on parade around me.  It was either spend your time thinking about sick kids in pain, OR do you think she is bringing ribs or chicken?  I know it sounds pathetic, but you can only read so many books and reorganize the room in so many different ways.  There isn't a lot to DO, so if you're not careful you can get yourself mired in the sadness of your situation or in the misery of the sick children in the room with you.  The choice seemed obvious...ribs or chicken?  I hope it's chicken.


While I dreamed of dinner, Christopher got better.  Much to everyones surprise, none of the worst case scenarios happened.  Apparently the intestines settled back into his abdomen okay, and none of them turned out to be punctured.  The infection that he originally had been admitted for cleared up, and it took him a couple of weeks to heal from the surgery and get his tube feedings going again. 


Another disaster had been averted.  We were released from the hospital, but not from the fear that another infection would force us right back to the emergency room again.  God was teaching me important character lessons about trust, patience, and thankfulness.

My Mom (Ga Ga) and me (LeAnne)

SPECIAL NOTE:  I want to thank my Mom for always being there.  Besides helping with Michael and Ryan and going to California with me, she catered the best dinners.  It was a simple thing that made a big difference to us.  Thanks, Mom!  I love you!

If you have never accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you can pray like this:

More tomorrow...